Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Writing Process - When Men Need Mothers

I needed to write about this boy peeing in my bed.  Seriously.  I kept this quiet when it happened and I struggled with that.  I couldn't figure out why I was so afraid to confront him.  It wasn't because I was afraid that he would stop liking me or something or that I would get made fun of.  It was more complicated.  I didn't want it in our relationship, yet - the idea of me cleaning up after him.

Then over time, I realized that theme of me cleaning up after him was so prevalent in our relationship.  He would mess up and I would put it back together.  I would get upset and then reshape it.  I would force apologies when I needed them and clean sheets when he peed on me.

When he told my friend that I reminded him of his mother - in a romantic way - (talk about some fucked up freud shit) I was like BINGO.  I want to be his friend, to be playful and to have fun.  I wanted to use the relationship as an escape from my academic and professional life in similar ways I use alcohol...  Yet, he wasn't letting me because as we got closer and I cared about him more, I asked for more out of him than to be my "alcohol."

Is this personal essay enough?  In hindsight, and revision, I want to add more reflections on a woman's role in our culture.  I also want to add a scene on the progression of our relationship as more real and less about partying.  Because although it's hard to get him to admit it - it was real too.

Oh and it's funny.  Urine is so funny!

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